It is never an open heart that hurts. It is always a closed one.
It is when we meet someone whose heart is closed us to us and we in turn close ours, that it hurts.
It is when we close our hearts to the world because love is taken away from us, that suffering begins.
Keeping our heart open is never painful. Closing it always is.
With practice we can learn to keep our heart open even when we experience loss or meet someone whose heart is closed to us.
It is when we choose love instead of fear that our situation will transform, our suffering will end and miracles will occur naturally as expressions of love.
A miracle is merely the translation of denial into truth.
Because only love is real.
(This post is largely inspired by the works of Marianne Williamson. Direct quotes from A Course in Miracles in italics).
I read once that we are willing to take as much abuse from others as we abuse ourselves. It is only when someone start treating us worse than we treat ourselves that we leave. Never before.
Now think about someone you know who lives in an abusive situation and apply this rule to them. Frightening, isn’t it?
The sad truth is that we are not just willing to let others mistreat us to the level we mistreat ourselves, anything else will in fact feel uncomfortable and in some cases intolerable to us. Yeah, that’s right. Someone seeing us as better than we see ourselves or treating us with more kindness than we deem ourselves worthy of will feel unbearable. And so we make a run for it. Back to our self-certified misery.
Has anyone ever told you: “You are too good for them”? A well meaning phrase originally intended to comfort the heartbroken may in fact be truer than you ever imagined.
All in all it is about vibration and how highly we think of ourselves. If we vibrate self-love, true confidence (NOT arrogance!) and joy it is impossible to bring people of lower vibrational energies into our lives.
Start changing the way you view and value yourself, and the people in your life will re-group themselves to match you. Guaranteed.
Today I read this quote:
When you learn how much you’re worth, you’ll stop giving people discounts.
That’s right! Sale is over.
According to the teachers, there is only one thing that all people possess equally. This is their loneliness. – Hyemeyohsts Storm
I read this a few days ago and it has been rolling around in my head ever since. Can this be true? Is really every single person on this planet lonely?
Having moved abroad alone twice and also being chronically single I am quite familiar with the concept of being on my own. And frankly, I am comfortable with it too. In spite of being alone a lot I cannot really remember having felt truly lonely. Or at least, I have never allowed myself that feeling. Being lonely in today’s world is something many consider sad, pathetic and even shameful. You can choose to be alone, but being lonely is something that happens to you. It victimizes you.
The fear of being alone is very real to many. The almost insane thought of going out to dinner alone is something that strikes fear in most people. In fact, just arriving 10 minutes before a friend in a café can be bad enough. What will people think?
I believe that regardless of how many people live in your household, how many dates you have during a week or how many friends you have on Facebook we are all alone. We cannot obliterate aloneness. But we can learn to accept it, deal with it and even cherish it.
I came alone to this planet and when the time comes I will leave alone too. Just like everybody else. Through accepting my separateness I can bridge gaps and create meaningful and healthy connections to other people by maintaining my own individuality and appreciating others for who they are. I will spend time with others, not because being alone is unbearable but because I love their company.
I think that the key to cherishing aloneness lies in appreciating yourself. Because let’s face it, you are never really alone. You is always with you, and having a good relationship with yourself can make the time you spend alone into quality time. Through loving and accepting yourself you will transform a desert of loneliness into a garden of solitude.
And finally, one of my favourite quotes on being alone by Marilyn Monroe:
It is better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.
Yours In Loneliness,